Vagina Monologues: Diva cup Review

(You should know, the working title of this blog post was “Alex, I’ll take things I put in my Vjj for $500”.  I am not a lady, I just look like one.  If you are easily offended then don’t read this OR anything on the internet, like EVER)

Hello.  Welcome.  To my blog.  Where I talk about things.  Some times I talk about Vaginas and the things they do.  Not really.  But I made you look.

Box Talk, kind of, sort of.  not really.
Box Talk, kind of, sort of. not really.

Today I’m going to talk about Menstruation, Aunt Flo, the red tide.  periods.  PERIODS.  If it grosses you out you should straight up grow the fuck up, get lost and or stop being a pussy.

I can often be heard saying I try and throw off the shackles of Mother Nature.  This isn’t a joke.  I have tried and wish I had more control over my body.  I DID actually try doing this (throwing off the shackles of Mother Nature) as one of my friends did by taking a monophaisic birthcontrol pill continuously to try and avoid getting my period while backpacking for 10 weeks many years ago. Sadly it never worked for me even though she had been doing it for years.

Back in the fall I had the unfortunate situation of running out of feminine products on day 1.  My lovely boyfriend brought me some on the way over and did even better.  I could barely move because it was Day 1, and by golly that Day 1 was one of the worst I had had in some time.

Holy Trinity
Holy Trinity.  Anti Gravity tampons?  what is this marketing bullshit?

The thing was, I had stocked up like 12 packages of lady products when there was some crazy super sale and that lasted me like a year and a half or something, maybe 2, I don’t really know I didn’t count.  I told myself that when I was out I would go and get a Diva Cup.  I had seen them the early 2000’s and was curious and intrigued by the one time glorious price of $20-30.  This is because feminine products aren’t exactly cheap.  They’re like $10 bucks a package by the time you add the tax.  (Blame Canada!)

So all these years I wondered but didn’t really bother researching menstrual cups.  But I decided to recently after the I ran out of stuff incident.  I didn’t want to have to run out of stuff ever again and feel stranded or surprised my period came early and walk around asking someone if I could ‘borrow’ a pad or a tampon.

So many, how will you ever decide?

I read amazon reviews and things saw there were blogs, forums and subreddits dedicated to menstrual cups and reviews of 18 different kinds.  Other than seriously pondering and wondering who has the time and money to buy and write about all the different types of menstrual cups on the market, I asked around.  (I’m totally different, I’m only talking about one because i  obviously have a life and have better things to waste my money and time on).

Out of the many women I know (i know HUNDREDS, I’m a babe magnet), only 2 other women used them.  I was surprised, that’s like less than 1%  which is why I am writing about this in case someone else wants to know or were thinking of making the leap.  Based on my experience one of my close friends did because she was concerned about sticking tampons which are bleached cotton up her secret garden.  This is an actual concern when you think about it.  I mean bleaching assholes may be en vogue in some communities, but your vagina?

Diva Cup photo, that I took from the Diva Cup website.  It comes in 2 sizes, basically pre-babies or post babies
Diva Cup photo, that I took from the Diva Cup website. It comes in 2 sizes, basically pre-babies or post babies

Anyways here goes.  The Diva Cup, like many menstrual cups is made of Medical Grade Silicone.  It is flexible and sturdy and reuseable.  In some reviews the users had been using them for 5+ years.  You fold it up, put it in and live a wonderful life like you usually do when you are on your period.  You can wash it out with soap and water but it is also recommended you sterilize it by boiling it.

It took watching some youtube videos to figure out how to get it in movement wise   There’s one chick who does it with a wine glass so you understand how to get it up there.  That was helpful.  It was not as complicated as I thought it would be (by complicated I mean like fisting yourself) and I got it down after a few tries.  One of the videos I watched stated to put it towards your tailbone and to bear down to create a good seal.  I had passed this info on to my friend who converted shortly after I did and she said that was good advice and helped her.  If you have put it in properly you will not feel it and there will not be any discomfort.  One of the other noteworthy mentionables is that many users in reviews I read stated they had less cramping.  I will attest to this as well.

One interesting thing is that there are measurements in the Diva Cup (oz and mL) and you realize how much or how fast things are happening and on which day in terms of filling it up.  Everyone is different, and each day of your period is different, so how often you need to dump out it’s contents is up to your body/you.

One of the women who told me about it before I decided to try it said that if she does a mid-day adjustment (dump)  and she is not at home, she wash her hands prior to going into the washroom at work and bring a bottle of water to help rinse her cup out before re-inserting it.  I think I did try this at work once and found it to be a bit of work.  I suppose if I got used to doing it, I may not find it a pain in the ass.

This was something I could see being an issue for some people who did not have access to washing their hands first or being in a some what sanitary environment if they decided to do adjustment/dump.  Also due to insertion method this might not be ideal for women who were not already using tampons, unless they have the patience to learn.  There first few times you may want to use a panty liner just incase if you are nervous about a spill.  But again if you have it in properly, you should not feel it and you won’t experience any spills unless it is full already.

I would say overall it is a decent product if you’re looking for alternatives to traditional ‘feminine papers’ based on cost, healthiness for your body (no bleached products near or in your baby maker and no risk for TSS).

I bought mine off of Well.ca.  It retails for about $40 but if you search around for a coupon code if there is a promo on, you may get one for $10 off if there is one available.  I have seen them at some Shoppers Drug Mart and Rexall and on sale one time only though.

I will be honest I had not tried being athletic and going to the gym with the Diva Cup.  Usually working out or being athletic is the last thing I feel like doing when I am on my period.  I do not know how secure (read: spillage) it is when you’re shaking and moving.  I also don’t recommend swimming or water sports with a Menstrual cup or tampon, especially in natural bodies of water, but I guess it’s up to you.  (Sharkbait, ooohhhlala).

In summary, it depends on your lifestyle, but if millions of women like it, maybe there is something to these menstrual cups after all. I have used mine for a few months, if my feelings and thoughts regarding this should change, I will update this post with an amendment or write a new one.

TL; DR:

PROS -cost efficient, green, healthier alternative(non bleached product, no risk for TSS) than traditional feminine paper methods, less cramping, comfortable if in position correctly, measurement ability

CONS-tricky to learn to use initially, cleaning,change/adjusting/dump contents may be an issue in non hygienic/clean areas, not for newbs, possibly not for athletic endevors

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