Guide to Bribing 101

I’m not going to tell you bribes work. But I’m also not going to tell you, that they don’t. But I will tell you when you bribe with food,  it has a 95% positive return rate.

I’m a busy kind of person who doesn’t make appointments for car stuff  (winter tire change,  oil change,  rust proof touch up) during their busy season but I get VIP service. This is probably because I’m a jerk because I’m very busy and very important but quite possibly I forget when my car is due for service till the last moment someone says something to me.

I did not make an appointment but I did walk in with a box of coffee and timbits to the service manager I have kind of become friends with over coffee bribes over the past year.

Today, In exchange for Tim Hortons I got free lunch (stealership special) and have only waited an hour for my services to be done without having an appointment.

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How do I know its coffee and not this sweet face that my ancestors gifted me?  I am not even wearing make up today.

Anyways I’m not going to tell you walking in with Tim Horton’s will work for you. I don’t know if your disposition is as sunny as mine. (probably not).  But I’m also not going to tell you it that doesn’t work.

My poor wife on the internet (and in my heart) waited 4 hours for her tires to be changed a few weeks ago. She didn’t bring donuts and coffee. That may be why. I’m unsure but will recommend this as a social experiment and welcome your data for this experiment.

What’s the first best thing for trading favours since the beginning of time? Le Sex,  but we aren’t getting biblical,  so whats the second best thing dudes who fix stuff like?  Beer,  but this is a work place. So whats the third best thing? Food, my friends,  food.

Am I telling you that bringing edibles will make you popular wherever you go and possibly curry favours?  Why yes I am. Because it works for me. And hopefully it will work for you.

This life lesson has been brought to you by my friend One Lung Fung who told me to bring food to to his shop when I was getting my bike fixed so they would do it faster and cut me some hours. THANKS Ronnie. It kind of works for cars too. Sort of.

This post has been brought to you by my waiting for my car to be serviced at my local stealership dealership.

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