(I’m in the process of moving some posts from my tumblr that I think are decent and getting ready to write again seeing as I took quite some time off. stay tuned for that)
This was originally posted on November 23, 2010. It was written for my younger coworker who was going through some things who needed some encouragement that she was going to be ok. I have trouble writing about my own shit because most of the time I’m trying to figure what’s going on, so most of the time I write about situations people around me are going through because I think about what they ask me and what I’ve learned through my life experiences.
The truth is sometimes life kicks us all in the ass. But the truth about that is we are going to be ok. That is the sentiment here and even years later it still is true.
edited for grammar)
Welcome to your second puberty
There’s a lot of talk. There’s a lot of similarities. There’s a lot of the same scenarios. there’s a lot of feelings.
Just to know someone else REALLY gets it. Cause they went through it. Or are going through it currently.
There’s a lot of “do as I say and not as I do” cause god forbid there be more stupid shit and bygones be bygones “learn from my mistakes so you don’t have to painfully commit the same painful ones”.
Baby girl, you will still make the same ones. But here’s your cheat sheet. I wish I had one back then. We look at you like a baby because you are shiny and new; untarnished and unweathered.
This is your second puberty. Yes. You’re growing again. You don’t know it but it was kind of like your first puberty. You were going slowly but one day woke up with boobies or hair in strange places you never had before.
You are a butterfly that slid out of your cocoon. But now you’re learning how to work those pretty little wings so you can flutter and fly.
This is your second puberty. You will grow even though it seems like nothings happening. One day you wake up and see it. ‘Whoa. I’m different. Wiser. I know so much more then I did.’
Its growth, emotionally and mentally. There are days you will kick and scream and there are days you will laugh till you cry happy tears. There will be growth spurts. There will be times when you feel stagnant. You’re still growing. You will always be growing.
Just don’t worry about what’s to come even if its hard knocks. Just realize you might come out beaten and battered but for the most part in one piece. You will heal like Wolverine and be stronger than you could have ever imagined. We are proof, aren’t we?
We the ‘elders’, have had our hearts stomped on, shattered, ripped out by friends, family,foes and lovers and other strangers. But our hearts beat all the same. We didn’t let it steal our light. So don’t let yours be stolen if life beats you down a little. Sometimes hearts skip a beat when we see a really hot guy walking down the street but that’s not anything to be alarmed about. Don’t rush to your doctor just enjoy the sights, sounds and possibly the smells.
These things happen. But don’t be broken hearted or too downtrodden for too long. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and carry on, keep calm.
If I could tell my 20 something self I’d tell myself the following:
1) There’s plenty more where that came from. Just be ready for the next round.
2) You don’t know everything even though you might think you do. So listen when people are telling you things. There’s a lesson to be learned. If you listen carefully you will hear what it is.
3) Treat people the way they treat you. Not more. Not less. You will be less angry at them or yourself for giving too much of yourself (or too little).
4) You will fuck up. So start being your own best friend and not your worst enemy. Sooner rather than later.
5) Be happy with yourself. Love and respect yourself. No one else will if you don’t.
6) Boys can bring sunshine. Boys can bring rain just as quickly. Don’t think they solve any problems. They can bring more. Also its not fair to put that much pressure on one person.
7) Invest in yourself and your future. Its the best possible return you will ever see.
8) Marriage isn’t the happily ever after. There’s more to life then getting married and popping out babies. That’s the small print.
9) Do the things that you want to do. You might not have partners to do them but you will be glad you did and will make new friends who you can do these activities with.
10) Spend time with your loved ones. Home is a feeling, is the people you love and who love you. Its not a geographic location.
11) Some people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Sadly most aren’t here for a lifetime. When someone exits, don’t be angry or sad. Be thankful your paths crossed.
12) One day you will become friends with your mom and dad. You WILL. Its a cool thing.
13) Don’t be afraid to go for it. Regret of “what if” haunts more than shit I wish I didn’t do. The latter is only a big deal for 5 min. Or a few days tops
14) Don’t be afraid to follow your heart. Don’t be afraid to fall in love. Then fall in love again. But not at the same time though. I don’t recommend at falling in love with more than one person at the same time. We watch soaps, we don’t want to be in them.
15) Forgive. For yourself. But don’t forget.
So welcome. Read this. Then read it again. Then once more. Cause there will be a verbal pop quiz tommorow